another day wasted

just like dat...wat a slacker i have become *ketuk diri sndrik*

woke up early for the 830am class where i have to lead the discussions
agak berlari2 anak jugak la takut lambat only to find dat half of the group is still missing in action
not dat i mind, at least i'm not the last one to arrive
cute preceptor..sekali tgk mcm Matt Damon, dua kali tgk mcm Brad Pitt zaman memuda
hoho cuci mata smbil berdiskusi penyakit paru2 hoho

decided to skip lectures n came back for another discussion session later in the afternoon
eat the leftover pasta for brunch while rerunning GG again
no new epi tis week, bummer!

plan to wash hair but then napping center in the brain nudge against desicion making part
short nap wouldn't hurt right?
huh, right! nap la sgt smpai 5 mins to 3 o clock br bukak mata n group discussion at 330pm!
looks like hair washing have to wait til tonite la

no new Grey's tonite *sigh*

making plans for the 'long' weekend
totally skipping tmr morning lectures, prolly go for a visit to Market Mall
Saturday got Marrybrown *halal yo!* picnic n bowling at Chinook
Sunday go tobagoning!!!
bile nk catch up study ni Dalilah oi?!

positive reinforcement

i had a good feeling when i finally hand in the papers
well maybe a bit guilty for using only one third of the allocated time
but the prev experience hold me back
i mean, anything could happen rite?

so, i keyed in the lock
the one sheet i dread n anxious to see wat's printed on it
one glance and dat relieved smile slowly creep up my tiny mouth
spreading it into a huge grin of self satisfaction
heart leap in joy, tears brimming the eye
a small victory, a huge meaning

i finally think i can do this
i finally believe i can make it through

stop putting thoughts in my mind

woke up early for derm group discussion
finished 2 hrs ahead of schedule wohooo!

came home n had a bowl of macaroni chicken n seafood soup
found streaming movie of Twilight in not so shabby wonders of technicolor

hungry again after dreaming of Edward
had a plate of spaghetti bolognese drowning in cheddar n mozarella
while listening to House MD teaching on eclampsia

finally get to the business of rheumatology
10 slides into brittle bone n my mind is permanently stuck on thought of filet o fish



wat i wouldn't do to fulfill the cravings



now i can sleep opsss study peacefully

rockstar!

730am n i'm in my scrubs
watched ORIF (dat's open reduction and internal fixation for non medical ppl) of fracture dislocation of ankle, manipulation of total knee replacement and repair of Achilles tendon rupture
helped doing the cast

ortho surgery is awesome
all the drilling and plating and screwing
u would think u in a workshop or carpentry sumwhere
ouh, did i mention the blood and the broken bones?
coolness to the max!

it's been a long day

woke up at 445am for sahur
go back to sleep in prep for the day ahead

communication class start at 830am followed by ethics small group til lunch hr
n she bringing dat yummy donuts is not helping either

2 hrs anatomy lab drag on til 4pm
the only thing making it bearable is the hot final yr general surgery resident
if only i'm not refraining myself from lewd thoughts in respect of Ramadhan

still got one small group to get thru
i already stop functioning by the time discussing chronic diarrhea
not just me, others who x puasa pon felt drained
i was surfing the recipe blogs for idea wat to cook for buka puasa today while others yakking away in today's case

2 months in Malaysia undone all resistance to cold weather developed last yr
think another bout of flu coming up
blerghhh...

happy news of the day : today is Ziah's bday
so dear Ziah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
hope all ur wish and dreams come true
XOXO

in one morning...

i worked thru 5 ERPOC (evacuation of retained product of conception) today
in a span of less than 3 hrs
it's taxing, more mentally than physically
of course most of time i'm just observing but the anaestesiologist i'm working with today wants me to be part of the team
so i get to talk to the patient albeit brieftly, fill in the anest forms, help with transporting the patient in n out of OR

it's disheartening to see these women who mostly are of my age group forced to face such cruel fate
i can only imagine the pain of losing ur unborn child
one patient woke up after the procedure sobbing, as the wave of the realization of emptiness inside her hits
her baby no longer there...
one patient is already due on biological clock, miscarriaged the first round and the other time carrying her child ectopically
no joy of motherhood for her tis time either...

heartwrenching to see as the doctor puncture the amniotic sac and slides in the forceps
extracting wat could have been another bundle of joy and all dat's taken out are blobs of clots n mangled tissues
nothing resembling us...yet wat we used to be once

a small victory meant to be hugely celebrated

Today I successfully start an IV on a real patient
yeayness to me!!!

er...er...er...dunno?

family is going back to kampung today
so i ask for half day n manage to mengelak from presenting during CME
haha giler ape nk i present depan seme docs n specialist yg handal2 tu
dh la x de background ICU training, duk situ pon baru one week
undergrad medicine pon x abes lg haha

today would be my last day in ICU
gonna miss dat for sure
the cases dat i encounter so far is very interesting
i probably put sum of it up here later

next week i'll be starting in OR *yeay!*
hopefully i can practice sum skills
n watch cool surgeries too!!!

I C U, U C I?

I'll be in the ICU for the whole week yo!

ICU kinda cool
no need for white coat
u can't really take history from patient since they r either unconscious or intubated or sleeping most of the time -i hate taking history but 80% of diagnosis is from history, yes?-
aircond is at full blast-->heaven!
not many patients to handle at one time, there's only 14 beds all together
u would think the rounds would be short but na'ah
it's ok anyway~

first day of 'work'

it was a good first day
my dad is on a leave so he drives me n my mom to work
feels like a first day of school, both parents sending u off hehe
stop for a breakfast of nasi dagang *kak ana jgn jeles* before starting my first day of 'work'

i was sent to ICU
apparently anaest ppl dun only put ppl to sleep n wake them up later
they manage the ICU as well hehe i didn't know dat
H.O.D wasn't anywhere on sight so i just tag along the specialist in charge n the M.Os doing rounds

guess who i bump into in ICU, supposedly joining the rounds?
lil miss Camy!
must have been forever since we last see each other kan?
think the last time was before you fly off n now u already working!
how time flies~

the specialist is so damn good a teacher
i even manage to suprise myself answering a question here n there
haha

had a lil chat wit H.O.D after the afternoon rounds about wat i want to do for the 3 weeks
i ask if i can be allowed to some procedural skills n it was more of exposure kinda thing since i have no clue as to wat anest is all about
he then drew the whole plan of wat i'll be doing n the objectives i should accomplished by end of my elective *aiyak*
i was put under supervision of Dr Rozi, the specialist i was tagging along earlier
all in all, i think it was a good start

better doze off soon
work starts at 8 am daily *blergh*

so it began

tomorrow will be the first day of 6 weeks summer electives *blerghhh*

doing 3 weeks in anest dep n another 3 weeks in surgery

am alone

buhsan.buhsan.

but at least i get to drive the car everyday

i'll be mati kutu anyway just staying home

no one around

buhsan.buhsan.

we'll see how it goes

i might attend the full course

or skip it

keep on fighting

getir times ahead
2 days to finish all Endocrine
*cries*
Endocrine is a lot!!!

you can do it, Dalilah!!

p/s: have u heard the RapidKL "let us moves you" ad on radio?

hahaha
not going anywhere lah i must say

*gruk gruk*
craving for laksam
or laksa kuah putih
=((

today i learn this

lecturer to class: "how long do you think a guy can hold it post penetration? (ie ejaculate after penetration) how many of you think 1-2 mins?"
a guy hold up his hand
lecturer: "2-5 mins?"
few agreed
lecturer: "greater than 10 mins?"
a few more raises their hand
lecturer:you watch to much porn

info: average in North America, guys can only hold it for 2-5 mins

*smirk*

ouh, apparently penis is the window to the heart
man with ED will have heart attack in 3-4 yrs after ED set in

ouh, med students
here's an easier way to remember the nerve for erection and ejaculation
*i always have this mixed up*

"S2,3 and 4 keep your penis off the floor"
P-parasympathetic-penis

"S1, 2 helps to shoot the goo"
S-sympathetic-semen

oh well, things they teach in school these days

*pls dun ask me any question*

HPOP poster presentation DONE!!!!!!!
writing this while awaiting to evaluate 2 other colleagues
yeah, soo time wasting la this whole thing
presentation only 20 mins but have to spend extra 2 and half hr to evaluate other ppl
we already have the written exam but the faculty still want us to do poster and present sumore

anyway, my presentation is a bit sketchy
badly stammering my way thru but both my evaluators and the faculty evaluator said it was GOOD so i'm good xD

now i can finally focus on studying for Course IV Renal/Endocrine finals
12 weeks of lecture to crammed in plus minus 2 weeks!!! die la~
also in plus minus 2 weeks i'll be going HOME! yipeeeeeee ya yayyyyy!!!!!

one more down

HPOP Certifying Exam
OSCE
Global Health Project Proposal
Summer Electives Application
Course IV Renal/Endocrine Formative Exam

HPOP Poster Presentation
Associate Dean's Exam
MDCN440 Learning Contract
Course IV Renal/Endocrine Peripatetic Certifying Exam
Course IV Renal/Endocrine Certifying Exam

wouldn't it be nice?

like a baby

4 days away from Calgary really does me good
Edmonton is refreshing!

4 days in the world's biggest mall
no doubt dat would do some serius damage to your finance even if ur not shopping
which is impossible to do esp when u r traveling

had a blast of time in Galaxyland
went on the Mindbender triple loop roller coaster twice!
and i finally get to go on the Space Shot (missed my chance at Genting last year)
adrenaline is the drug to live for~ i swear!
spent 1 and half day shopping
wished i had try the bungee jumping at the waterpark
made new frens with Malaysians in UofA
finally meet Ariff, a blogger fren

not much pics since its more of a shopping and relaxing trip than a sightseeing trip

now have to catch up with studying
there's two days worth of lecture i missed because of the trip n weeks of lectures before dat i still have to go thru
formative is on next Friday...totally in no mood for school *sighhhhhhhh*

check out West Edmonton Mall where i spent the whole trip at

on short notice

i'm done with OSCE
yeaynesssss!!!!

will be out of town for few days on self declared holiday for much needed escape
lalalalala~

sick dalilah make a bad med stud

so i skip another PE review session again
of the 4 sessions, i skipped once before due to the fact my alarm fail to woke me up
i cut short one session because i have to practice Well Man *interesting details later*
and i was late for yesterday session by few minutes
totally not a good impression be made
he prob thinks i'm lazy n disinterested
if he were to write evaluation on me, for sure it'll be very bad
but i really cannot bring myself to go
the whole fever+cold combo had me bedridden the whole day *ok, mayb a lil exaggerate here* but seriusly i'm still not well
the bloody expensive Benylin doesn't seems to help much
cessss...membazir duit gue~
nothing can ever replace good old Panadol but they don't have it here
balik Mesia nnt make sure beli byk2 buat stok heheh

what it's like?

my group had a 72 year old sweet grandpa as a patient yesterday
he has a history of recurrent heart attacks for the last 6 yrs and now presenting with what seems like congestive heart failure (with all the positive PE findings wow!)
on further interrogation, we found out that he is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict
have been drinking since 10 years old and doing drugs since 12
he run away from home at very young age, sleeping in the alley, getting into gang fights etc
just listening to his story had me thinking
how much your body can take looking at how bad we treated n abuse ourself but hey, look at him, 72 and still alive despite wat a 'wreck' he is right now wats with no pension or savings and multiple health condition needing treatments

i can only imagine going through his childhood
when i was 10 i was running around with frens at school
and he's running around chasing bottles
when i was 12 the biggest worry was will i'll be able to score in my 1st big exam
his was how to get thru the day without the high he shooting himself with

it's sad and sounds so awfully wrong
no one should go thru dat kind of life
but perhaps dats the most important life lesson to be learn
LIFE IS HARD
but dat's just life, eh?

green hulk

can't sleep til 4 last nite
despite lights out at 1130 n eyes shut closed
my mind won't shut down, generating possible scenarios of next morning com skill
oooohh how i always dreaded it

then i go in n guess wat i had to deal with?
a very CUTE angry man
oh ok a very cute ANGRY man
u know the type dat won't open up?
tanye pat ploh patah jwb setengah patah kinda patient?
horrible k?
god forbids if u ask the wrong question silap2 aribln u get scolded back
it makes the whole interview painfully hard n awkward
as if not enuf wit me who find it hard to build rappot n make communication a mesra one

i ask why he was here
he stated why n i proceed asking the standard questions trying to come up with differential diagnosis but it was dry n bland like the gravy at ikea
my heart was screaming at me to just run out but i stay n carefully prodded
eheh, not so carefully or subtle when i run out of questions to ask n vomited
"ur angry, why r u so angry?"
NOT a good choice of words
but then surprisingly, it makes the rest of the session better

the fake patient even commented dat i did great in handling this kinda of pain-in-da-ass patient
n my preceptor also surprised on how i didn't back down n manage to address the patient's emotional struggle
oh well, it's not like i can just run out of the room crying like dat can i?